DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I were invited to a wedding where I don’t know the couple as well as he does, but we RSVPed for both of us. But then my husband was promoted at work, and there is a required event on the day of the wedding.
We informed the couple as soon as we knew, and they were very gracious about it. I told the bride’s sister -- whom I know well and who is doing a lot of the planning -- that I wasn’t comfortable going alone since it is a three-hour drive, and I cannot drive after dark.
After that conversation, the bride found a man to take my husband’s reservation and said he would be willing to drive down with me.
That is not happening.
I know him, but not well. He isn’t married, but I think he has a girlfriend.
Would it be OK for me to just ask the couple if he can take both reservations?
I don’t want to be one of those people who disregards the purpose of an RSVP, but I cannot see how to make this work.
GENTLE READER: And yet this bride has done everything in her power to make things work on your behalf. Miss Manners is not insisting that you ride three hours with a near-stranger (however vetted he may be), but the bride has tried and failed to present a solution without also disrupting her table settings.
Now the problem is yours. You can either politely refuse the offer and hire a car instead (although Miss Manners warns you that the driver might also not be married or have a girlfriend), or do as you suggest and decline the invitation entirely. But then, Miss Manners warns, you should not soon expect another one.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)