DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am uncertain how to handle the matter of a wedding registry. I don’t like the idea of a registry, but friends and family have told me that they consider not having one to be a thinly veiled cash grab, which seems even more distasteful. What would be the best way to avoid causing offense?
GENTLE READER: Really? Your relatives and friends are unable to imagine that you are not trying to extract something from them, so that if you don’t demand goods, you must be hitting them up for cash?
And that it is more unseemly not to beg than to hand over your shopping list?
Miss Manners is aware that there are indeed people who think that way, but she urges you not to succumb to them. They will just come up with other cynical judgments. Not liking the idea of a registry is an excellent reason for not having one.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)