DEAR MISS MANNERS: The committee planning a work event invited a guest speaker, who responded, “I will let you know.” Another member of the committee asked another speaker, who agreed enthusiastically. How do I tell the first speaker we no longer need them to speak at the event?
GENTLE READER: How long did you take before you changed course?
Miss Manners understands that a definitive reply is more appealing and convenient than a vague one. However, having not been told otherwise, the first person might have thought that the offer was still open.
The proper response to the noncommittal one would have been, “We will need to confirm within the week.” Or even, “When will you be able to let us know?”
Miss Manners cannot tell from your letter if the committee was miffed at the lack of enthusiasm and looked for a more sure option, or if a genuine mistake was made when another member asked. Either way, she recommends that you plead the latter: “I am afraid that there was a miscommunication, and not knowing for sure if you were available, another committee member asked a speaker who was more able to commit. We hope that you will be available next time.”
The likely subtext, “Next time, you should answer quickly and be more flattered that we asked” will likely be understood.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)