DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boss and I eat lunch regularly at a nearby restaurant. We are there often enough that we know the staff pretty well.
One time, my boss said she’d made reservations there for a holiday lunch, in part so we could tip our favorite staff. The following day, she asked if I could cover the lunch, and I agreed.
Then on the way she asked if I could cover the holiday tips (in cash). I had no cash on me, so I declined. Then at lunch, the staff gifted us a bottle of wine and an appetizer.
When it came time to pay the bill, I did so and then my boss took the receipt from me to review. I was stunned. It appeared she was verifying that I was tipping appropriately. I’m not sure how I should have responded, as I’ve never had anything like that happen before. It’s likely something similar might occur in the future and I would like to be prepared.
GENTLE READER: A more generous (and more practical) assumption about your boss’s behavior would have been that she was checking to see how much she owed you.
A quick response of, “Oh, we can settle up tomorrow,” would have made for an easier follow-up.
As you missed that opportunity, Miss Manners recognizes that only two choices remain, and they are not mutually exclusive: asking for repayment -- which may be awkward -- and not scheduling lunches with your boss unless they are paid for by the company.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)