DEAR MISS MANNERS: I've found that I loathe staying in other people's homes. While it has become a fad to rent or be a guest in someone's home, it doesn't appeal to me. Even B&Bs give me the willies.
Even worse are visits to family when they extend invitations to stay in their home. I just don't feel comfortable. If I stay over, I always feel tense, no matter how gracious the host or hostess. In the worst cases, the accommodations are not something I would ever willingly choose, like a single bed or sleeper sofa.
The problem arises when I try to politely avoid these invitations. I usually use the excuse that I don't want to inconvenience them, but some people refuse to take that response.
Is there a more polite way to tell people I need my own space when it comes time for my nightly routine and bedding down without offending them?
GENTLE READER: "I'd love to see you, but I'm a terrible houseguest. Trust me."
They won't, of course. Politeness requires them to protest.
At that point, Miss Manners suggests saying, "Would anyone be bothered by loud noises in the night? Or sleepwalking?" (Note to lie detectors: This does not state that the person speaking shouts or sleepwalks.)