DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my daughter was married, they invited close family and their good friends -- well, some good friends. A few of my daughter's friends work with the ex-wife. They received no card or gift from this trio. She feels they have been manipulated by the "X."
1. Should she not send a thank-you note to them?
2. Should she just send a thank-you card, thanking them for attending and celebrating?
3. Should she send a card thanking them for attending -- with a P.S.: "I fear your card/gift was lost" or something of that nature? She does not value the friendship of these three ladies, and shame on them for their lack of class and manners. What should she do?
GENTLE READER: 4. Enjoy her honeymoon and spend her time thinking of more pleasant things. Miss Manners is as perplexed by what you consider the three ladies to have done wrong as she is by your proposed solutions. Etiquette does not require that guests give gifts, nor does it require a host to thank a guest for attending. And it certainly prohibits soliciting gifts.