DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am single and my immediate family lives at the opposite end of the continent; thus, I sometimes spend holidays by myself.
A week before Thanksgiving, an elderly couple at church invited me to their feast. I politely declined, inwardly recoiling at the nightmarish vision of spending an evening captive to their prying questions about my salary, marital status, etc. I then felt that I had to decline all subsequent invitations, because if the couple found out (and they would), I would hear no end of their haranguing about being snubbed.
As Christmas and New Year’s are approaching, this scenario has the potential for repeating itself. Is it possible to spend time with friends whose company I do enjoy without incurring the wrath of the umbrageous?
GENTLE READER: Just make your plans early, even if those plans are to wait and see who else might invite you. As long as you decline with warm thanks, specific excuses are neither wise nor necessary.
If those plans fall through, Miss Manners promises not to tattle -- as along as you promise not to be hurt if you end up spending the holidays alone.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)