DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend of mine is visiting my city for a short while, and I offered to host them. They said they would pay me, and I strongly assured them that hosting them is pleasure enough.
However, they subsequently sent me some money. Is it now more insulting to try to return it, or to keep my mouth shut and pocket the change?
GENTLE READER: It is insulting to treat a host like an innkeeper, especially after expressly being told not to do so.
Yes, yes, Miss Manners realizes that we live in crass times, when being insulted with money is incomprehensible, and therefore your friend did not mean to pay you off and be done with the obligation.
Nevertheless, she would return the money with a note stating merely that you were pleased to offer your hospitality.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)