DEAR MISS MANNERS: We frequently have my sister-in-law’s family over for family dinners. She and her husband have always allowed their 12-year-old son to choose not to eat any vegetables, and almost no fruit. He refuses to eat them because “he doesn’t like them.” This has gone on his entire life.
At Thanksgiving dinner, he will eat a small amount of turkey and probably several rolls. Dessert is always allowed, which he eats in full. This is bothersome not only to my wife and me, but to her other sisters and extended family members, also.
When they are at our house as our guests, are we on any valid ground to insist the kid eat a couple of green beans or carrots and some potatoes?
GENTLE READER: No. In fact, double no, because you should not attempt to train other people’s children unless specifically authorized to do so, and you should not be monitoring what any of your guests eat.
You will, of course, protest that the child is a relative and that you are concerned for his health. That is a topic that can be raised only by a relative who is on confidential terms with the parents and can do so without criticism of their child-rearing -- and far away from the dinner table.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)