DEAR MISS MANNERS: I understand that “We’ll have to get together sometime” is a conventional phrase not to be taken literally. But at what point does a “Let’s make plans” comment become a binding promise?
I say that mentioning a specific activity and date (“I’d like to show you my favorite picnic spot while you’re in town -- maybe next Tuesday?”) obligates one to follow through as spoken, and that the other party has a right to initiate further inquiry if more specific details are not confirmed on “schedule.”
Others in my family say that everything is to be taken as a “maybe” until the original party volunteers a specific hour and address, and that if they don’t, it’s rude to ask -- that politeness requires letting the whole idea evaporate without comment.
GENTLE READER: We are at a sad moment in society when enthusiasm is mistaken for rudeness.
Miss Manners assures you that either party has the option of making vague plans more firm -- or suggesting options -- without it being deemed pushy. “Let’s get together” can be politely followed by, “Yes, let’s. My schedule is open next week. Which date works for you?”
If someone does not make an authoritative move, the game of making plans will otherwise go on forever -- and that is before all of the inevitable canceling and rescheduling begins. Miss Manners applauds -- and certainly does not wish to scare away -- any party who is willing to put down stakes. She invites the others in your family to do the same.