DEAR MISS MANNERS: After years of therapy, I made the choice to end all contact with my mother. It has been almost five years since I’ve spoken with her. On occasion, I run into people who know us both, but are unaware of our circumstances; they will ask how she is or tell me to tell her they said “hello.” I also had the experience of a new colleague, whose mother I have met, asking me a question about my mother.
How would you recommend I respond to these questions? I do not want to launch into the entire saga with acquaintances, nor do I want to mislead them into thinking she is no longer with us.
GENTLE READER: Those who have your mother’s information can be told, “I’m sure she would love to hear from you directly.” Those who do not can be given suitably vague descriptions of what you do know, before changing the subject: “I haven’t spoken to her for a while, but I hear that they are having an unusually dry summer out there. How has the summer treated you?”
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)