DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there a polite way to pre-empt people from coming to visit at the hospital?
Last time I was in the hospital, my boss and his wife came to see me. I was horrified! After three days without a shower and looking and feeling my worst ever, I was totally humiliated. I will never be able to look him in the eye again.
Another friend came and stayed for over an hour in spite of my hints and then outright pleas that I wanted to be alone. The next day she showed up again, and I totally lost it, telling her, “Out! Out!”
Now I’m scheduled for another hospital stay, and people are already asking which hospital I’ll be in. I’ve said that I appreciate their kindness, but don’t want visitors. I fear this is falling on deaf ears.
GENTLE READER: And you show your appreciation by shunning your boss (do you plan to quit your job?) and shouting at your faithful friend?
There are special polite social protections and leeway granted to hospital patients. You can ask the staff to say that you cannot have visitors, without the need to specify that it is because you don’t want them. You can post a sign on your door saying “No visitors allowed.” And if they get past these barriers, you can still fall asleep during a visit, or announce the intention to do so by saying, “Forgive me, I am afraid that I am supposed to be resting.”
Miss Manners wishes that you will recover your health, but also that when you do so, you will still have a job and some friends.