DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have a 2-year-old son and are currently expecting another baby. My husband’s younger brother and his wife are also expecting their second child, due a week before ours.
We are very blessed to have friends and family who were ecstatic over the birth of our first. My dear friends threw me a lovely baby shower. We have everything we need for the new baby and I’m grateful to have friends who wouldn’t dream of throwing a second shower. I’d be mortified if they did.
My sister-in-law’s family is unfortunately the very type to throw a second baby shower. At her first shower, they charged $5 at the door for “lottery tickets,” with the money ostensibly going to the parents-to-be to cover certain costs associated with the baby. This was in addition to the shower gift I’d brought AND being asked to bring a pack of diapers to help the parents.
Her family is also highly competitive, and is sure to make very pointed remarks when they ask me about my own impending baby shower and I answer that there won’t be another.
How should I handle those remarks? I don’t want their false pity, nor do I wish to hear disparaging remarks against my friends and family for not throwing another shower. Clearly it’s not polite to point out that she shouldn’t be having a second shower, but what is a polite, firm way to deflect?
GENTLE READER: “We are very excited to attend Margo and Larry’s shower. Do you think they’ll have another boy?”