DEAR MISS MANNERS: We understand the occasional need for a host to cancel a dinner party at the last minute. But when we received last-minute cancellations on two occasions during the past year with the explanation being that “the other guests could not make it,” we felt jilted.
We enjoy socializing with this couple, and avoid commenting about their canceled parties. However, we consider this rude behavior, and thought that an impartial opinion would serve us well.
GENTLE READER: It is to avoid this problem that hosts have secret “A” and “B” lists: so that empty places can be filled when guests decline an invitation without disenfranchising those who said “yes.”
This does not explain the problem cropping up at the last minute, unless perhaps the other guests were all arriving on the same canceled flight. In that case, Miss Manners counsels the host to explain the situation and apologetically offer a specific alternate date. Otherwise, she agrees that your erstwhile host’s behavior is rude.