DEAR MISS MANNERS: Would you please address in your column the misuse of “gentleman” and “lady” as synonyms for “man” and “woman”? I find it offensive when these terms are used by newscasters to refer to criminals.
GENTLE READER: Address it? Miss Manners is herself guilty of it.
You are quite right that these names should be reserved for those who have earned it. Unlike as in class-stratified societies, where these designations depend on birth, American ladies and gentlemen are distinguished by their behavior.
But Miss Manners uses the terms, sometimes with a dash of irony, in the hope that they are aspirational. For the same reason, she addresses those who are kind enough to consult her as “Gentle Reader.” They may not all be gentle, but she cherishes hope.