DEAR MISS MANNERS: A professor in our department took leave in order to give birth. When we heard the happy news that a baby girl had been born, I commented, “I wonder if she plans to bring her in?” It is always exciting to see a new baby.
One of our colleagues replied, “She already HAS brought her in,” clearly meaning that the lady had come into the office while still pregnant.
This colleague is known to be the only fundamentalist Christian in the building. I’m not sure if he was trying to be funny or to make a political statement. I was stunned into silence. Is there anything one could possibly say to something like this?
GENTLE READER: Etiquette does not go looking for infractions. This would be true even if she did not already have her hands full with the infractions that find her.
The proper response is therefore to treat the comment as well-intended, even if you suspect it meant more. If Miss Manners did not object to infants at work, she would have lightly told your co-worker that it is more fun to interact with a baby who can grab one’s finger and gurgle.