DEAR MISS MANNERS: This might ruin your day, but here are some puzzling greetings (or non-greetings) that my friends have received:
My friend’s cousin messaged her half-dozen least favorite cousins on Facebook, telling them that they would not be invited to her wedding, apologizing, hoping they would not be hurt -- and directing them to her gift registry. My dear friend was baffled, and confessed that she would never have known that she wasn’t invited had it not been for the social media message.
Another friend was accosted by an acquaintance telling her not to expect a Christmas card because she had only purchased 25 and needed to send them to other people. When my friend replied that the non-greeter needn’t worry, she would just refrain from sending a Christmas present, the non-greeter begged her to wait and promised she would find a card (somehow) and send it. My friend kindly refrained from asking what number she was, if she didn’t make the cut of 25.
GENTLE READER: Yes, it ruined Miss Manners’ day.
Sadly, she was not unaware of the egotism that characterizes these examples -- the urge to tell people they are not in favor enough to receive invitations or presents. But she finds particularly appalling the notion that there is some sort of social obligation to announce “nyah nyah” to the excluded.