DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son is about to become a bar mitzvah, so I sat with him to start the process of writing thank-you notes. He’s only received a few gifts so far, but I imagine he will get many, many more (we are anticipating just under 100 guests).
The one note that he managed to finish took a REALLY long time and had to be redone twice. His handwriting is not stellar, so he has to write very slowly to make it legible. How I wish, at times like this, that they still stressed penmanship in schools and didn’t rely so strongly on computers!
He said, “Wow, wish I could type these. Mom, why can’t I just type them?” Thus my question: How strong a breach of etiquette would it be for him to type the notes and then hand-sign them? I was always taught that a handwritten thank-you note is the ONLY way to go about these things, but in this case it will take forever!
Should I just lay down the mom-whammy and make him write them all, or is a typed note an acceptable option?
GENTLE READER: Gratitude should expand (or contract) with the guest list: Your son’s debt to thank each individual guest is independent of how many stamps you will need to purchase -- or how much time it will take him to pen the notes.
Handwritten letters of thanks are a way of reciprocating the effort that guests took. So, yes, Miss Manners would advise your son to get to work. It is a valuable lesson for a young adult. The letters will get easier and shorter with practice.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)