DEAR MISS MANNERS: My niece is getting married next week. Several of the people invited responded to her invitation with a guest: “Mrs. Blank and guest.”
The bride found out that some people were not bringing the guest they’d planned, so she deleted the guest and said “you can’t bring anyone.” The bride wants to dictate who people bring.
GENTLE READER: The struggle between inattentive hosts, inconsiderate guests and indescribable brides continues.
Miss Manners must disagree with your implication that only an unreasonable host would exercise any control over her guest list. But she agrees that there are limits. Invitations are properly issued to specific people: not to an unnamed date, houseguest or therapist. It is for this reason that Miss Manners so dislikes “plus one” invitations.
She cannot, however, assail the logic that once a hostess has posted such an invitation, she has ceded her authority to fill the seat. And there is no justification for the rudeness of rescinding an invitation once proffered.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, email@example.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)