Miss Manners

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son and his new wife were married last year, with a wedding shower the month before. We have never received thank-you cards for either event, nor have any of the other guests.

This is very rude of my son and my daughter-in-law, in my opinion. Should I say something to them about getting busy writing, or just let them be rude? Is telling them to write them rude as well?

GENTLE READER: It is not rude when you are in loco parentis -- and even less so, if there can be less than no rudeness -- or when you are the actual parentis.

Miss Manners does suggest that when you raise the issue, you talk about the other guests’ not having received thanks, and leave your own grievance to the side. There will then be no way to confuse justifiable parental nagging with whining.

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