Miss Manners

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received an invitation to an event that I am unable to attend. I sent my RSVP as requested, and then I received, by return mail, not only an acknowledgement of my response but a clearly cutting comment on my inability to attend.

I have never before received a response to an RSVP, except verbally (along the lines of “I was sorry to see you can’t join us”). I’m wondering if, all these years, I should have been sending something formal in response to the response, though presumably not something quite as cutting as I received.

GENTLE READER: What did your host respond? “Good, we didn’t really want to see you anyway”?

The rules have not changed to allow insulting -- or even interrogating, which is more common -- those who decline invitations. “We’ll miss you” is allowed but not required.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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