DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the rule for giving out thank-you cards for Christmas gifts you have received? I have a co-worker who complained in general yesterday that she hasn’t gotten any thank-you cards for the gifts she’s given out.
My thinking is that if Jane Doe and John Doe both give each other Christmas gifts, that’s an even exchange and therefore no formal thank-you is needed. It’s like there is balance and understanding within that relationship. But if Jane gives John a gift and doesn’t get one back from John, a formal thank-you would be in order from John to acknowledge that he appreciates the care and time that Jane has taken on his behalf. What is the rule on this, or is there a rule?
GENTLE READER: Yes, there is a rule, and Miss Manners knows that you know it, or you wouldn’t go to such lengths to try to subvert it.
Gratitude and reciprocation are related, but one does not cancel out the other. Your expression of thanks is not a gift that relieves you of the necessity to reciprocate, and the receipt of a present does not excuse you from expressing gratitude.