DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother-in-law likes to help out less-fortunate relatives. She is quite generous herself, but she often asks some extended family members to help with additional contributions.
Everyone does acknowledge that the contributions are for good causes (i.e. hospital/surgery bills, medication for elders ...) and that those people indeed need help and are much less fortunate than we are.
However, these fundraising events happen quite often; my MIL is often pleading for money (even if not for herself), putting others in the awkward position of having to say “no” to the fourth fundraising request of the year.
Since we have quite a large extended family, is it OK if we suggest minimum required contributions for all able family members every year? The minimum amount should and will be discussed and agreed upon by all family members. That way, my MIL would have a certain set amount to work with and would avoid awkwardness for herself and others.
GENTLE READER: Being a pest for a good cause does not excuse the underlying rudeness. Someone needs to talk to your mother-in-law and ask her to stop annoying the relatives. While the extended family might be willing to agree to an annual tithe if it would rein in your mother-in-law, the fact that you are only proposing a “minimum” contribution makes Miss Manners suspect that even you do not believe it would work.