DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know that times have probably changed with regard to the proper way to invite someone to your home, what with the popularity of social media, etc. I, myself, use social media, but I would like to know what is the protocol.
I moved to a city where an old acquaintance lives, and she reached out to me via Facebook and email to let me know she and her husband would like to have me and my husband over for dinner sometime. The invitation was casual, but she asked me what days my husband and I would be free.
I told her that Sundays are acceptable, and she can let me know what day would work for her family (they have small children; we do not).
She has not responded since, and I am wondering now if I’ve offended her or if I was expected to pick a certain date and make arrangements to have dinner at her house. I guess I always thought that if you extend an invitation to dine at your home, and the guest gives a general idea of when he/she would be free, it would then be up to the host/hostess to offer to have dinner on a certain date, with a potential back-up date in case something comes up.
Am I wrong here? Am I being too old-fashioned in this case?
GENTLE READER: Social media has not changed the world to the extent that the guest determines the specifics of an invitation to someone else’s house.
Miss Manners suspects that the casualness that you are perceiving is instead a lack of timeliness -- and/or that your friend simply hasn’t figured out the most convenient option yet. It is also possible that something in the word “acceptable” threw her off, and she fears that this will be more of an obligation for you than a pleasure.
If you are concerned, contact her again, say that you are eager to see her and that you hope a Sunday works out soon. Or invite her over to your house instead. At a specific date and time.