DEAR MISS MANNERS: If you are invited to a large Thanksgiving dinner and you offer to bring desserts and the offer is accepted, should you still bring a hostess gift?
GENTLE READER: The overdone practice of guest participation -- bringing part of the meal and presents -- arouses Miss Manners’ suspicion that it is intended to replace the obligation of reciprocation.
She acknowledges, however, that the cooperative meal is a legitimate Thanksgiving custom. But in that case, you become one of the hosts and need not bring yourself a present.