DEAR MISS MANNERS: I invited a couple to a dinner party and requested an RSVP. Despite two follow-up phone calls to determine if they would attend, I got no answer.
As the table had two empty places, I went ahead and invited another couple who responded affirmatively. At less than 24 hours before said party, the first couple finally responded that they would attend.
I replied that unfortunately as I had not heard from them, I assumed they were not coming and invited others. Did I handle this correctly? Should I not have invited the other couple?
GENTLE READER: Evidently, you should not have invited the first couple.
Rather than performing the minimal duty of answering your invitation when it was issued, they allowed you to assume the burden of finding out their intention -- and let you do it twice, without responding.
Miss Manners takes that as a sign that they feel they owe you nothing, and thus are unlikely to trouble themselves to make your party a success, much less to thank you and to reciprocate.
You were prudent to handle the situation as you did. And let us hope that the substitute couple turned out to be more worthy of your hospitality.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)