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Miss Manners by Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

Send Wedding Invitation Earlier for Advance Planning Purposes

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our son and his fiancee are planning a wedding in her hometown. It will be an out-of-town wedding for all of our side of the family and friends, and many of the bride's friends. With hopes of getting a sense in advance (for accommodations and other planning purposes) of how many guests will make the long trip, would it be acceptable to include on the save-the-date notices a line of "Advance RSVPs Welcomed and Appreciated" along with the wedding website address?

I feel that without the RSVP prompt, most guests will just wait for the formal invitation, which will come far too late to reserve rooms and make other important arrangements.

GENTLE READER: While there is a logic to getting answers sooner, Miss Manners fears that it breaks down when asking someone to respond to an invitation that has not actually been extended. She has no objection, however, to simply sending the invitation earlier.

Read more in: Etiquette & Ethics | Marriage & Divorce | Holidays & Celebrations | Family & Parenting | Friends & Neighbors