DEAR MISS MANNERS: This year, my mother has told us exactly what she wants for Mother's Day, what she wants us to do and what we may not give her.
I think that what to do is our decision, and that gifts (or, more to the point, kind actions) have no meaning if the giver has not chosen to do so and was instead told by the receiver to do as such. We are insecure about this particular difference of opinion.
GENTLE READER: Oh, right: It is not just children who need to understand that asking people to give them things is a form of begging. And if it is hard for parents to teach this to children, it is nigh impossible for children to teach this to parents.
Understanding that peace in the family is a consideration, Miss Manners suggests that you sit down with your mother and tell her that you actually enjoy thinking of ways to please her, and would appreciate some general guidelines of what she likes so that in the future you may do a better job of it.