DEAR MISS MANNERS: There must be a new trend in save-the-date cards for upcoming weddings. In the past few months I have received three such requests, but on all three cards, the couples failed to include their last names. There was a beautiful photo of the happy couple, and the words "Save the Date" for Mike and Haley, or Tiffany and Bob, and so on.
In all three cases, we have no idea who they are!
Granted, we have a large social network, as well as the adult friends of our children who may be getting married, but I feel it is so rude to send a save-the-date card for a large event and expect that everyone knows who they are. It causes me the extra work to have to search out who this happy couple is.
Is it me, or is it wrong of them to be so self-centered that they feel they are the only people on Earth planning a wedding and asking for well wishes, so that they don't need to include their full names? And finally, how do I politely ask them to reveal their identities?
GENTLE READER: It is not unusual for those about to be married to think they are alone on the planet, and in very limited doses, for short periods of time, it can even be endearing.
But expecting a stranger to hold a date is both impolite and impractical. If the trouble you are put to involves checking the last name on the return address against the names of your friends' children, Miss Manners wonders if it is not more trouble to point out the inconvenience.
But if not, leave open the possibility that the rudeness was caused by someone other than Tiffany or Bob. If there is a return address, you may respond: "My apologies, but the way the invitation arrived, we could not tell who had sent it. Could you please let me know whom I am addressing?"
If more work is required, you may find that you are not available when the invitation finally arrives.