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Miss Manners by Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

Gay Teen, Not His Sister, Is Responsible for Revealing His Orientation

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My younger brother is 14 years old, and several years ago he came out as gay to the family, to some other relatives and to some friends.

He has told us that it's no one else's business unless he makes it their business.

My brother is a 10 out of 10. He gets more than his fair share of attention from both girls and boys. My problem is the girls who come to me and ask if my brother is dating, seeing someone, has a girlfriend, is available or are they his type?

Questions from the boys range from, is it true my brother is gay? Or they tell me they are gay and ask if my brother is gay, seeing someone, has a boyfriend or girlfriend.

My brother has made it clear it's not up to me to out him. I love him and don't want to upset him, but I'm at a loss for answers.

GENTLE READER: But you don't owe them answers. Miss Manners suggests your politely pointing out that you are his sibling, not his social secretary.

Read more in: Sex & Gender | Teens | Family & Parenting | Etiquette & Ethics