DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I had her family over for dinner on a Sunday evening. They came at 6:30. By 9:30 I was tired. I'm a young man (31), but I'm a CPA, and it was my busy tax season, when I need sleep for my 60-65 hour weeks. I whispered in my wife's ear that we should try to find an opportunity to let the party end, as my usual bedtime is 10 to 10:30.
My wife didn't handle it gracefully, but her father seemed understanding. However, I heard the next day from my wife that my mother-in-law was upset that we "kicked them out."
Who is in the wrong here? I feel that 9:30 was late enough for a Sunday evening. If it was a Friday or Saturday, I would have been more willing to let the evening go longer. Who should apologize?
GENTLE READER? You.
While Miss Manners agrees that three hours is a reasonable amount of time for dinner, she must remind you that it is never polite to dismiss your guests. Departures, however much wished, should be made of their own volition.
If you must entertain on a Sunday, plan for the evening to begin even earlier. Or when you issue the invitation, tell your relatives that you're afraid that since it's a work night, you won't be able to stay up as long as you might otherwise like. If they still stay beyond your ability to stay awake, discreet yawns, surreptitiously checking the clock and occasional fits of narcolepsy are (marginally) allowed.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)