DEAR MISS MANNERS: My ex is getting remarried to a woman he had an affair with, our next-door neighbor. He has pressured all three of our children to be in his wedding. (One daughter and a son live with me.)
I understand asking his son, who refused three times, then finally gave in, but to ask our daughters to stand with her as bridesmaids seems not only hurtful, but in very poor taste. I feel the pain as if I'm being replaced.
GENTLE READER: Unfortunately, despite the unsavory circumstances that led to it, this woman is now going to be a part of your children's lives -- and, by association, yours.
You are not being replaced as their mother -- and Miss Manners assures you that spreading this accusation is only going to make it more unpleasant for everyone.
Do your best to say nothing and stay impartial. It will be more effective to let your children show resentment on your behalf. It seems that they have already begun doing so.