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Miss Manners by Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

No Need To Thank Wedding Guests For Their Presence

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are blessed with wonderful friends and family who celebrated our wedding with us. We've been finishing up thank-you cards for those who sent presents.

I'd also like to thank those who just attended, even if they did not give any physical gifts. Would it be proper to send a heartfelt thank-you card for their presence and support?

We didn't ask for, nor expect, presents, and felt that our guests' attendance was present enough.

GENTLE READER: It pains Miss Manners to discourage heartfelt letters of thanks, which have become as rare as people who do not ask for presents. It is not surprising to hear that you have wonderful friends.

But this is not a good idea. It reverses the usual direction of thanks between guests and hosts, and may be taken -- as less kindly brides have used it -- as a reminder to come across with the goods.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Etiquette & Ethics | Friends & Neighbors