DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am looking for the correct answer to the following question: What happens if you are at a formal dinner and realize you are using the wrong piece of silverware for a given course?
GENTLE READER: You go on eating. Everyone else goes on eating and talking. Perhaps an alert server discreetly slips you a replacement. If not, you eat the next course with the utensil that you should have used for the previous one.
The only person upset by your problem is Miss Manners, and not because someone might confuse the flatware. That is a situation in which nobody gets hurt.
What bothers her is the suspicion that you were hoping to set Miss Manners up to declare that you would be scorned and drummed out of society -- thus enabling you to carry on about how shallow "society" and its rules are.