DEAR MISS MANNERS: I went out on a first date with a woman (I'm a woman too) with whom I had shared a lively and interesting email correspondence for several days. We connected on a dating website, where she had a funny and well-written online profile.
When I arrived at the restaurant, I discovered that she was quite tall and more masculine-looking than she had appeared in her pictures. It was apparent to me that she was transgendered.
However, it seemed quite impolite of me to ask, for instance, when she was talking about her childhood, "So, you were a boy then, right?"
I was in enough doubt that I just kept looking for clues, pro and con, as the conversation went on. She finally told me and expressed some incredulity that I didn't know, as I had said a few things that implied the assumption that she was a girl since birth.
I think she was a bit offended, though I can't imagine for what. I would think that would be the sort of thing you'd put in your profile. What should I have said?
GENTLE READER: "I would have considered it rude to make any assumptions."