Order your copy of Minding Miss Manners now.

Miss Manners by Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

Niece Who Did the Right Thing Is Accused of Doing Wrong

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a close friend die unexpectedly and my daughter sent me a text to notify me. I was upset at the news and with the way it was delivered.

I told my daughter this, but she said that is how her generation does things.

GENTLE READER: It may be, but your concern is with what your daughter should have done, not with what her contemporaries are doing.

News of the death of someone dear to you should not be delivered casually, which is more easily accomplished in some technologies than in others. Assuming that your daughter knew you could be reached more quickly through a text -- and that you would want to hear the news as soon as possible -- Miss Manners would still have advised her to text you that she has urgent news, asking you to call.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Read more in: Death | Etiquette & Ethics | Family & Parenting | Teens