DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there an appropriate/standard time for Sunday dinner?
We have been rotating Sunday dinner in the family starting between 4:30 p.m. and 5:30 p.m. It has been suggested that 3:30 pm is the typical time. I say that it's too early and people will just get hungry around 7 p.m.
The theory is that if Sunday dinner is prepared by noon, then a family can nibble from it all day, having a sit-down dinner at 3:30 and then nibbles later.
My feeling is that the result will be overeating and that one should have three distinct meals of breakfast, lunch and dinner.
GENTLE READER: Are you a family of mice, that you must nibble all day? Nowadays, this is not uncommon, Miss Manners realizes. But others are more apt to report the habit as grazing, which makes them...
Never mind. Although Miss Manners does not address health issues, she agrees about the necessity for proper meals, because they are the centerpieces of a civilized life, featuring such delightful (but now endangered) practices as conversation and table manners.
Dinner by daylight on Thanksgiving and Christmas and, for some, on Sundays, is a holdover from earlier times. Eating the main meal during the day was the general rule well into the 19th century. It varied from before noon until dusk, and kept getting later and later over the centuries.
But the issue here should not be when a mid-day Sunday meal is traditionally served, so much as when your family is not so ravished as to gobble and wolf the food before it gets to the table.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am six months pregnant, and my doctor has told me that it is perfectly OK to drink up to 1 cup of coffee a day. I was used to drinking 3 to 4 cups every morning, so I have had to gradually cut down on my intake.
The problem I've encountered, now that it's obvious to others that I am pregnant, is that when I visit my local coffee house to order my morning cup, I receive concerned (and sometimes dirty) looks from customers when they see me with my coffee. Once, the girl working behind the counter asked "Would you like decaf?" when I placed my order.
I find this to be very rude, as it should not be anyone's concern but mine. These people do not know that my doctor has given me the "OK" to have a cup of regular coffee now and then; they are making judgments based on what they hear from others about pregnancy and caffeine intake.
It's not as if I'm at a bar ordering a shot of tequila, but you would think so, judging by the looks on their faces. How should I respond (if at all)?
GENTLE READER: Do not forget that, basically, we want society to be concerned about the children of strangers. At least to the extent of paying taxes for schools.
But Miss Manners realizes that this offers little comfort to expectant mothers who are relentlessly being poked, frightened or scolded, as they so often are.
Were that the case, you would be justified in delivering a cold, "So kind of you to take an interest" and turning away. But you cannot respond to mere looks and you should not be looking for insult. The person behind the counter may not be able to see over it to that far down.
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