DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I was at the swimming pool the other day, a lady came to me and asked lots of questions and then said, "I am a Realtor and if you want to sell your house, I can do it."
I was so offended! I said something but not good enough and it has left me boiling inside. Every time someone gets a Realtors license they come to me and say, "If you want to sell your house...."
It feels to me like they take a knife and stab me in my stomach right there. How should I tell them nicely "You are crazy. Why would I sell my house to a rude stranger; who has the guts to be so blunt as to ask me to give my house in your hands; and how dare you imply that my house is not good enough to live in it anymore; and imply that I was stupid to buy the house I live in right now?"
GENTLE READER: Hold on a minute, please. Miss Manners must have gotten water in the ears when she was in the pool, because she missed that stream of insults directed at your house.
How odd that you have encountered a real estate agent -- and apparently more than one -- who declares your house unlivable and yet yearns to sell it; who tells you that you were stupid to buy it and yet is confident that others would do so.
Even so, would this be comparable to being stabbed with a knife? Or could it be that you are inflating an annoyance into a crime in the hope that the punishment will increase proportionally?
The annoyance is to have someone approach you in a recreational setting with a commercial overture. The appropriate punishment is merely to cut off the discussion by saying coldly, "I'm sorry, I'm not interested," and henceforth to avoid this person both personally and professionally.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My future sister-in-law is pregnant with her first. Every time she is around, all she seems to be able to talk about is her baby. There isn't a time that goes by without her saying something like, "The music is too loud for the baby. Don't say that in front of the baby. I can't eat that because of the baby."
She also comes up with strange rules that almost seem as though she is making them up. She says she can't bowl, sit in a jacuzzi, or be around cats because of the baby. Forgive me for not knowing if these are true, I don't have children of my own.
I have begun to excuse myself when she is in the room for fear that I will lose my mind. I understand her excitement and need for precautions, but she has recently begun to call me out on leaving the room. I'm running out of excuses! How can I politely tell her that I'd like to talk about things other than the baby?
GENTLE READER: Such as what? Your wedding plans?
Miss Manners is afraid that it is one of the duties of relatives to bear with those who are overexcited at certain stages of their lives that do not, you will be relieved to hear, last forever. You are therefore free to jump in, at the first pause, and say, "What do you think of cerise for the bridesmaids' sashes?" but not to allow your future sister-in-law to know that you find her a bore.
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