DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am interning this summer in a New York agency where, for lack of anything better to do, I read the paper and exchange e-mails with equally bored interns.
During my first weeks on the job, I started every morning by finding my bosses, apprising them of the work I'd done, and asking if they had anything else I should attend to. These appearances were met with blank stares, and then apologies: "Oh, I'm sorry, there's nothing ... we really can't think of anything for you to do right now."
Since these visits seemed more disruptive than helpful -- my bosses, after all, have "work" to do -- I no longer make special trips. Other than greeting them when they enter my office, or waving when I pass theirs, we don't have much contact. We go days without seeing each other, especially since I get to work before they do.
I've offered assistance to other interns, to their bosses, to our secretary; I feel rather fraudulent sitting here doing nothing on company time. Should I simply enjoy my freedom, having made it clear to all that I'm available by phone or e-mail whenever they need me? It's silly to complain about being paid to do nothing.
There was a rigorous application process for this position and my bosses know my qualifications and exactly how much they cost per diem. On the other hand, my bosses shouldn't have to track me down. Furthermore, the internship was taken to give me experience in the field, which I am not getting.
I'd like to be useful, but I certainly don't want to be annoying. Has my boredom driven me to over-think this? It's hardly the responsibility of my bosses to keep me busy -- or is it?
GENTLE READER: Considering the number of full-time employees who spend their office hours exchanging personal e-mails and playing computer games, Miss Manners is amazed that your agency was not grateful to grab you to do the actual work. Or perhaps they are preparing you for the "work" that they really do.
As a matter of conscience, she believes you are in the clear. You have repeatedly made yourself available to earn your salary, and it is the agency that has let you down by lack of planning.
But you wanted to spend the summer advancing your career. You can do this by noticing what humble tasks need to be done around the office -- not poaching others' jobs but devising your own -- and doing them without asking. Miss Manners would not recommend this to a permanent employee, who would then get a reputation for "liking" to do humble jobs. But this will keep you alert to how the office functions, and make everyone miss you when you leave. Just be sure to bargain for a better-defined job if you decide to come back.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: How should one respond to friends or acquaintances boasting about actions that are rude (ostentatiously reading a book throughout a wedding reception because it was "boring") or wrong (lying on a tax return)?
I do not make a habit of criticizing others; however, I do not wish my silence to be taken as approval, as I'm sure it will be since such statements are generally accompanied by an unmistakable tone of self-righteousness.
GENTLE READER: If you want to make that tone of self-righteousness disappear, Miss Manners recommends saying, "Of course, you're joking. I'm sure that's what you wanted to do -- and who could blame you? -- but you didn't, because it would have been unspeakably rude (or dishonest)."
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