DEAR KRISTIN: Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and I am all-the-way stressed out. All I can think about is how my relatives will be stuffing themselves in my house, and how I’ll be stuffing all that food into my stomach. Ugh. As a kid, I remember the holidays being filled with fun. As an adult, not so much. What if the turkey’s too dry? What if my uncle flips the punch bowl over again? (It happened last year.)

I guess what I’m asking is how can I get my mind and my spirit right so that I can face the entire holiday season with joy rather than with dread? -- DON’T WANT TO BE SCROOGE

DEAR SCROOGE: If you don’t want to be Scrooge, then don’t be Scrooge. You are the only one who can set your intention, modify your mindset and change your behavior. I’ll tell you what I mean:

Decide now, in this very moment, to set your intention on embracing the holidays with love and grace. But be specific. The term “setting your intention” is not some New Age, hippie-dippy verbiage that just sounds good to say out loud. Setting your intention is a powerful, purposeful act -- as long as it’s followed by action.

If you intend on making the holidays joyful rather than stressful, think about what it will require. Make a list. Set some boundaries. Identify the potential problem spots and figure out, ahead of time, a few solution-driven scenarios. If you already know Uncle Felix is going to start working Aunt Susie’s last nerve at the dinner table, plan to seat them at opposite ends of the table. If it should come to it, be prepared, ahead of time, with what you’re going to say to Uncle Felix if he crosses the line; let him know his shenanigans are not welcome in your home.

It’s lovely that you can still remember the joy that the holidays brought to you when you were a child. Create some quiet time each day to take yourself back to those sweet days. Meditate upon them. Call them up. What was the source of all that joy? What did it look like? What did it smell like? What kind of energy moved through your childhood home that made you so happy?

For me, the smells of cinnamon and brown sugar were what filled my little life with joy during the holidays. The sound of my family’s laughter and the sight of the Christmas tree in our living room filled my heart with happiness. A lifetime later, I was able to bring those vivid childhood memories with me, to incorporate into the lives of my own two children. Joy like this is transferable -- and so, also, are the memories of joy. Our minds are stronger than we think: Tap into those warm childhood memories of yours and bring back those sensations.

I fully realize that creating joy and busting up holiday stress involves far more than just calling up childhood memories -- but it’s a great way to get yourself back on a happiness track.

So set your intention, follow up those intentions with action, establish boundaries and, to the extent that you can, get ahead of your holiday stress with preparation and visualizing a positive outcome.

Don’t let your stress rob you of your joy.

DEAR KRISTIN: I’ve been living by myself for my entire adult life, and I’m happy to report that I’ve recently started seeing someone pretty seriously. As our relationship evolves, I’m getting more and more concerned about this ridiculously embarrassing “secret” I’m going to have to share sooner rather than later: I’m terrified of the dark. Take my hand and shed some light on this conundrum, please. How do I handle this? -- NO NIGHT MOVES JUST YET

DEAR NIGHT MOVES: Sounds like you’re dealing with several different emotions at once: You’re not just grappling with your fear of the dark, you’re also facing the prospect of feeling deeply embarrassed and humiliated when your crush learns of this fear. Whatever you do, don’t panic. Panicking will only make it worse. Lean into this with grace and an open heart. You’ve got this.

I am not a therapist, but I certainly recommend your seeing one. He or she can help you wade through the source of your fears of the dark. There’s something happening at a deeper level that you should address with the help of a trained professional.

There are different approaches, and I’ll mention a few here: You could find someone to help you drill down to the original source of your fear. Or you could consider Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), where the focus is more on learning to change how you respond to the dark. I’m not offering any direct recommendations here, but I do want you to be aware that there are plenty of trained professionals out there who can help. But to seek help means you have to, well, seek help. Take the step. Initiate the action. See what’s out there.

And as you do so, try to feel pride -- rather than embarrassment -- about the fact that you’re taking purposeful, proactive steps to face and embrace your fear. You’re setting an example for all of us.

In addition to having these important conversations with a professional, it’s time to initiate some equally important conversations with yourself. Create some time for self-reflection and contemplation. Ask yourself where your fear is coming from. Try to remember its original source, so that you can, ultimately, stand up to it face-to-face and send it packing, once and for all.

As long as you’re having all these open, honest conversations, you might also want to have a conversation with your partner -- though you’ll need to rely on your instincts and your heart to tell you the best time to do it. Sharing confidences can build trust and deepen relationships.

You should also consider doing a few deep-breathing exercises just before bedtime. Place yourself in a more tranquil state of mind before you lay your head on that pillow. Mindset matters. If you read my column with any regularity, you already know that I’m a big proponent of meditation and relaxation exercises. I love them not just because they’re relaxing, but because they’re stabilizing. Grounding. Connective.

Use your breath to connect you to yourself. Remind yourself that, at all times, you are in complete control of your breathing. Your breath is the bridge between your brain and your body: Make sure your bridge is as strong and sturdy as it can possibly be. Taking slow, deep breaths from the diaphragm helps regulate the flow of oxygen to your brain. This control belongs to you: Exercise it.

The fact that this budding relationship is forcing you to face your fear could be seen as a blessing -- but it will only be a blessing if you take purposeful steps to embrace this issue with intelligence and intention. No more cowering in the dark. It’s time to face your fears -- and gain strength from the knowledge that you don’t have to face them alone. Oh, and one more thing: Get a nightlight.

Sweet dreams.

DEAR KRISTIN: As a life coach and wellness instructor, I spend most of my waking hours guiding others on how to live rich, full, purpose-driven lives. The problem is that some serious issues of my own have surfaced recently (a health scare, a hostile client, and an abrupt end to a romantic relationship), and I’m worried that I won’t be able to practice in my own life all that I preach to others.

It’s one thing to instruct, coach and advise other people on wellness principles, goals and strategies. But now that I need to tap into the very advice I preach, I’m worried that I’ll fall short. I have a client, for instance, who has been showing tremendous growth and progress, and now is the worst time to let my own problems get in the way of the progress she has made. I don’t want to disappoint anyone here --– not my clients and not myself.

Am I capable of internalizing the advice that I dispense to others? And can I get through my own tough spot without compromising the well-being of those who look to me to, um, stay well? -- ADVISER IN NEED OF ADVICE

DEAR ADVISER: This is the BEST time -- not “the worst time,” as you describe it -- to tap into all your wellness wisdom. It’s not just there for you to dispense; it’s there for you to dive into and benefit from as well, in your own life. This rough spot that you’ve hit in your own life is affording you the perfect opportunity to actualize and execute the very principles you have been trained to share with others. Now is the time to make them your own.

All of us must face and embrace moments of imbalance and discomfort in life – even those of us who dispense guidance and counsel to others. We are humans first, professionals second. Give yourself the grace and the permission to stand in your own uncomfortable moments ... but be resourceful enough and responsible enough, as a person and as a professional, to recognize when it’s time to tap into your own knowledge base in a way that brings you balance. You sound like a very wise person; the beauty of such wisdom is its accessibility and transportability. You say you spend “most of your waking hours” sharing this wisdom with others. You should certainly continue to do that -- don’t allow your clients to suffer -- but now it’s time to access that wisdom in a way that works for you, too.

Also, if you don’t already have a therapist, find one. Mental health requires nurturing and attention. Maintaining our mental health is not just a solitary, inside job. We must reach outside of ourselves to care for and curate our mental health. We seek treatment for a medical issue without batting an eye. But when it comes to maintaining our mental health, we hesitate. We try to go it alone. We become martyrs. We isolate. This is only because we’ve been trained and conditioned to conceal our mental health issues behind a cloak of secrecy. Well, it’s time for our cloaks to come off.

You are a wellness coach, but that doesn’t mean you will always be well. You are human -- and human lives can (and do) become messy and unpredictable. It is the nature of the human condition. You need to seek balance, and you know, better than most, that seeking balance often requires reaching out to others for help.

Just as the doctor will invariably require medical attention and become the patient, counselors require counseling, too. Where is it written that we must travel this road called life by ourselves? Nowhere. It is written nowhere.

Keep dispensing your wisdom and expertise to your clients without letting your own issues impede that flow; it is your professional responsibility. But also remember to take care of yourself. If you let your self-care suffer, there are repercussions for everyone -- not just for you, but for your clients.

Allow yourself the luxury of being human and yield to the notion that we all need help. Even those who help others need help. You are not superhuman.

You are human, with important choices to make and actions to take.

So take them.