DEAR HARRIETTE: The other night, my husband said something that’s been weighing on me. We were talking about my job, and he told me that maybe the reason I haven’t been moving up in my career is because I don’t have much drive anymore. He said it casually, like he didn’t mean any harm, but it hurt. I’ve been doing my best, even if my progress hasn’t been as fast as I’d like, and hearing that from someone I love and thought supported me was discouraging. It made me start questioning myself and wondering if he thinks I’m a failure. I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately, and I wish he had offered encouragement instead of criticism.

When I told my husband how his words made me feel, he brushed it off and said he was just trying to motivate me. Now I feel both hurt and frustrated, like he doesn’t see how much effort I put in or how much I care about my work. I love him, but I don’t know how to make him understand that his words can do more harm than good. How should I approach this conversation so that he grasps how deeply his comment affected me without it turning into a fight or making things worse between us? -- Hurt

DEAR HURT: Rather than homing in on how your husband made you feel with his observations, focus on your career ascent and how to get where you want to go. If you can afford it, hire an executive coach to help you for a few months to evaluate where you are in your work and develop a strategy with you for getting to the next level.

Share your husband's hurtful comments about drive and motivation with your coach. Perhaps through that person’s neutral lens, you can find value in the message, even if the delivery was biting.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Most of my family is of a different faith than myself and my children. For the most part, it isn’t a big deal, but one of my uncles is opinionated and outspoken. He and I used to be close, but now whenever he comes to my home, he is critical of my faith and religious choices -- even when it’s not relevant. I am respectful of his dietary differences, his time for prayer and so on, but when my family prays or references anything he is not in agreement with, he’s dismissive, combative or disruptive. I wish he would be more respectful -- no speaking during our prayers, no need to detest our beliefs, no need to preach his faith to my children.

I want to draw the line with my uncle because he is beginning to create doubt and confusion in my children. I want to be close with him, but I don’t want my children’s perception of faith and religion to be tainted by these us-versus-them experiences. There is room for all faiths, but I don’t know how to get my uncle to realize that. -- At a Crossroads

DEAR AT A CROSSROADS: Say as much to him. Add that if he cannot bite his tongue and become respectful of the way you and your children express your faith, he is not welcome in your home.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend and I were watching a popular TV series together. The show is based on high schoolers who struggle with substance use disorder, mental health, anger management, sexual exploitation and more. We both were making comments regarding our shock throughout the episodes, but at some point, my friend looked over to me and said he feels sorry for my future children. I was wounded. That is such a strong statement.

I tried to unpack with him what he had said, but I didn’t get far. He shared that he thought my expectations were too aggressive and that no kid will be able to thrive around me. I think of parenting as a balance between structure and vulnerability, and I’ve always hoped I will be an honest and understanding mom. Neither of us has children, by the way.

I want my friend to know his harsh critiques impacted me and that he should be more mindful with his opinions in the future. Is it even worth revisiting this conversation? -- Bad Mom

DEAR BAD MOM: It could be worth it to continue the conversation with your friend, though not as an indictment of what he said to you. That will only create defensiveness with no meaningful resolution. Tell him instead that you can’t stop thinking about what he said to you, and you want to understand why he feels that you will not be a good mom. Admit that you have thought about his comments since he made them, and you want to understand his thinking. If he will share, listen carefully to see if there’s any value to what he says.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been struggling with the dating scene in my city. It’s been nearly two years since I’ve even attempted a date, flirted casually, swiped through an app or responded to a DM. It is so difficult to find anyone who wants to connect on a deeper level. Social media and online dating have made distance more acceptable and quality time less desirable. I would like to try dating again, but after being celibate and intentionally single for the past few years, I’ve become a cynic. My guard is up, and I am not as vulnerable or romantic as I once was. I think my lackluster experiences in the past have caused my heart to harden. I want to approach the dating scene with a more positive outlook, but it feels daunting. Do you have any advice for people like me who are not fans of online dating? -- Get Back out There

DEAR GET BACK OUT THERE: Don’t give up on romance yet. Go out the old-fashioned way: take classes, go to the museum, visit cafes and bars in your area and talk to people. Keep your eyes open but go slowly. If you meet someone potentially interesting, talk to them but keep your expectations low. Get to know people before considering investing your heart in them. Be OK with lighthearted engagements. Allow yourself to notice if anyone interesting comes along without feeling desperate along the way. (Yes, I know, easier said than done.)

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: About a year ago, my daughter asked if I might hire her boyfriend, who has taken a nontraditional route after high school. Instead of pursuing college, he decided to explore a trade. He’s a bright kid and a fast learner, so she thought it might work if he were my apprentice. I specialize in bathroom restoration mainly for large corporate offices, so even as an apprentice, the job pays quite well. Despite his success, I fear that his nontraditional decisions are influencing her. She took a gap year after high school, and now that she is in college, she continues to find reasons to want to leave. She thinks because her boyfriend is doing fine without a degree, she can do the same. My daughter and her boyfriend are still young. I don’t want to tell her what to do, but I don’t want her following a young man’s lead without a plan of her own. College may not be for everyone, but every adult needs a plan and some goals for their life. How can I knock some sense into her? -- Off the Beaten Path

DEAR OFF THE BEATEN PATH: Gently encourage your daughter to focus her lens on herself. Has she dreamed about anything that she wants to do with her life? What are some possibilities that she has considered for herself? If she has declared a major, encourage her to talk to an adviser at her college to learn about career trajectories in that field. Perhaps she can secure an internship to expose her to work options.

It's never a great idea to compare yourself to others, especially a boyfriend, but be careful as her dad not to get between them. Just keep helping her proactively figure out what she wants in her life and go for that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was headed out of town for a few days, so I asked a trusted friend to house sit for me. In the past, when I had only one pet, I’d take him to my mom’s until I got back, but now that I have two, I thought it might be easier to leave them in their home and have someone come over and be with them until I returned. I asked my friend who is familiar with both of my cats, and I insisted on paying for her help. Upon my return from vacation, I found my cats’ water bowls completely dry and their litter boxes out of control -- so much so that they'd had to handle their business in other places in my home -- and my garbage was at capacity. If I had known my friend wasn't going to care for my cats, I could have just left them home alone. I wouldn’t have paid someone to be there and do nothing. How do I address this with my friend? -- The House Sitter

DEAR THE HOUSE SITTER: If you haven’t paid your friend yet, don’t. You made a business transaction with her, and she failed to hold up her end of the bargain -- to the detriment of your cats and your home. Tell your friend how shocked you were to come home and see the neglect and disarray that she left. If she wasn’t going to do it, she should not have agreed in the first place.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)