DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been fighting with my sister about her behavior around me and my family for years, and it’s reached a breaking point. I have two daughters, ages 7 and 9, and every time their aunt comes to visit, I’m left feeling frustrated and upset. My sister has a habit of using crude language, making inappropriate jokes and displaying poor manners, even when I’ve asked her repeatedly to tone it down around the kids. What makes this even more difficult is that my girls adore their aunt. They look up to her, and her behavior is starting to rub off on them. I’ve noticed my daughters repeating some of the language she uses or mimicking her attitude, and it’s creating issues at home and school. I’ve tried explaining this to my sister, but she brushes me off, saying I’m being uptight or overreacting.

I don’t want to cut my sister out of our lives, but I’m struggling to set boundaries that she’ll respect. She doesn’t seem to understand how important it is for me to create a positive and respectful environment for my children, and it’s causing a lot of tension between us. How do I approach this situation without it turning into yet another fight? -- Foul Mouth

DEAR FOUL MOUTH: Put your foot down, and tell your sister she cannot spend time with your daughters unless she curbs the cursing and disrespectful behavior. Period. Tell her that your children have begun to emulate her, and it is causing behavioral problems at school and at home. Be prepared to make good on your threat. If she misbehaves the next time you are together, shut the door on her for a while.

I had to make a no-cursing rule in our home when my daughter was little. One of our close friends cursed incessantly, and I gave him an ultimatum. In his case, he complied. Sometimes people do. If not, follow through.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I recently decided to take a big step in our relationship by moving in together, but it’s been nothing short of a disaster. We’ve been living together for only three months, and it feels like all we do is fight. The arguments are constant, and they range from big issues to petty disagreements, but one of the recurring themes is his inability to clean up after himself. It’s driving me crazy, and I’ve started to resent him for it. It’s become clear to both of us that this relationship isn’t working. We’ve grown distant and frustrated, and neither of us seems happy. The problem is, we signed a one-year lease together, and breaking it would be a financial nightmare. We live in New York City, and as you can imagine, finding affordable housing here is difficult. Neither of us wants to be stuck in this situation, but we don’t know how to get out of it without making things worse. I feel trapped in a living arrangement with someone I no longer see a future with, and it’s creating an environment that’s tense and emotionally draining. Is there a way to make things more bearable while we figure out our next steps? -- Slob

DEAR SLOB: Agree on terms for coexisting as roommates that include basic cleanliness. Do your best to be cordial, and make a plan for where you will move when the lease is up. A year zips by. Prepare for the next one. Don’t forget to breathe!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter has become consumed by social media and seems to measure her worth by the number of likes and comments she receives on her posts. Initially, she just wanted to learn how to use social media to promote and sell her collections, such as bags and shoes, but it’s now affecting her self-esteem. My family and I have noticed that she’s becoming increasingly anxious and withdrawn whenever her posts don’t perform as she expects. While I understand my daughter’s desire to succeed online, I want to help her develop a healthier relationship with social media and encourage her to focus more on real-world connections and accomplishments. I want to offer guidance, but I don’t want to seem dismissive of her goals. How can I help her manage her social media use while fostering a more positive outlook on herself and her work? -- Social Media Pressure

DEAR SOCIAL MEDIA PRESSURE: I believe that the biggest challenge to positive self-esteem today is social media. People of all ages who engage in an online presence seriously grapple with the amount of attention they receive and what it means to their business, their psyche and their lives. You mentioned that your daughter uses it for her business. Encourage her to share with friends, colleagues and others she meets in person that she has an online store. Balancing the personal with online can help her to connect to actual people.

She may also want to choose times during the day when she will not be connected to social media and create a discipline for when she fully engages. Unfortunately, the reality is that if she needs social media to drive her business, she may not be able to detach from it as much as you would recommend.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have struggled with body image issues for years, even though I was always fit before getting married. My husband and I had a baby soon after marrying, which caused me to gain weight, and I’ve been struggling with it ever since. Despite trying various diets -- like low-carb, intermittent fasting and calorie deficits -- I often find myself returning to high-carb foods. Recently, the pressure to look a certain way has become overwhelming. Whether it’s from social media or comments from others, I feel constantly judged. I want to focus on self-love and acceptance, but it’s difficult to quiet the negative voices in my head. I’m searching for ways to feel confident in my own skin and break free from these insecurities. -- Body Image Insecurities

DEAR BODY IMAGE INSECURITIES: One important fact for you to consider is that your body will continue to change throughout your life. That is natural. Having a baby changes your body dramatically, and often the “new you” is never quite like the you from before giving birth. That is not bad; it’s just true. It is smart to eat well and exercise, but also to give yourself grace and acknowledge that your body is an ever-changing landscape, and that’s OK. It’s normal.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I really love pets, especially cats, and I always make sure they’re well taken care of by taking them to the nearest vet to keep them healthy and safe. Recently, my neighbor asked me to look after her cat for what she said would be a few days, but it’s now been four weeks, and she still hasn’t returned. While I love animals and have been doing my best to care for the cat, this wasn’t something I agreed to. It’s starting to become a strain on my schedule and finances, and I’m concerned about the added responsibility. I don’t want the cat to suffer due to my neighbor’s lack of responsibility, but I really don’t know how to address this with her without creating conflict. -- Unexpected Pet Responsibilities

DEAR UNEXPECTED PET RESPONSIBILITIES: This is no time to be passive. Call your neighbor and tell her that you have cared for her cat for as long as you can; it is time to return and take it back. If she says she is unable to take her cat back, tell her you are sorry, but this is her responsibility. Perhaps she should call an animal shelter or place an ad to find a new home for the cat, but your home is not an option.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I have made the decision to move our family to Barcelona. We have three teenage daughters -- aged 14, 16 and 17 -- who are attached to our current home in Phoenix. They’ve made it clear that they’re not happy about the move because they love their schools, their friends and the familiarity of the community we’ve built here. We completely understand their concerns, especially given their ages. Uprooting them during such formative years feels like a big risk, but we truly believe this move is the best decision for our family in the long run.

My wife is originally from Spain, and for years she has dreamed of returning to her home country. It has taken longer than expected to get everything in place, but the opportunity has finally presented itself. We’ve found work, housing and schools in Barcelona, and we’re excited about the new experiences and cultural exposure this move will bring. Still, we’re struggling to strike a balance between what feels right for us as parents and what feels fair to our daughters. They’ve accused us of being selfish and not considering how this will disrupt their lives. How can we help our daughters see the value in this move while still respecting their emotions and concerns? -- Uprooted

DEAR UPROOTED: It is perfectly understandable that your daughters feel upset by such a dramatic move at this formative time in their lives. There’s probably little you can say to make them feel better. If you have the resources, you should see if you can arrange for them to visit friends in a year or offer to bring a friend over to visit.

Once your family gets to Barcelona and begins to settle, chances are, they will have dynamic experiences that will make them feel comfortable and excited. Stay resolute with your decision, and talk about the opportunities in Spain as you also acknowledge how tough this transition is for everyone.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)