DEAR HARRIETTE: All of a sudden, I got really sick. I woke up one day and felt like garbage. I had so much work to do that I went to work anyway, but then I realized that I needed to take time off to get better. I don’t ever take time off, so my boss was shocked when I said I had to go.

He let me leave, but he constantly called me for information, files or paperwork -- anything he might need. It was hard for me to fulfill his requests because I had a fever and was sick. Finally, I told him I had to turn off the phone for a while so I could take a nap. He got mad at me. Because he was so upset, I came back to work the next day. But now I’m mad. I know I deserve to take time off when I’m sick. How can I get my boss to understand this? -- Boundaries

DEAR BOUNDARIES: Start by taking a look at your company handbook regarding sick days. Hopefully, there is a policy in place. If so, you can refer to it when you speak to your boss. If there is not -- which happens sometimes in small companies -- you need to be ready to request time off for yourself, even if it is not prescribed in a formal document.

Speak to your boss. Remind him of how loyal you have been over all of the time that you have worked for the company. Tell him that you did not appreciate, however, that he was reluctant to give you time to heal when you were sick. You jeopardized the staff by going into the office sick, and you compromised your healing by not taking time off. Next time, stay home when you are ill, and turn your phone off after calling in.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work with a group of women who are much younger than I am. Most of them have small children. They are constantly talking about their children’s challenges and concerns, which are interesting -- to a point. After hours of this banter, I’m exhausted. I have older children. When I add my own commentary about how I handled similar situations, sometimes they appreciate it, and other times they look at me like I’m an old woman. I could be hypersensitive here, but I don’t think so. I am not their peer, and it is obvious during these social times. Is there anything I can do to change the conversation occasionally to more neutral ground -- perhaps even work topics? -- On the Outside

DEAR ON THE OUTSIDE: I wonder if there’s anything these young mothers are discussing that could be used to benefit the business? As someone with a different perspective (since you are not of their generation), you can likely point out how the struggles they are going through might translate to the work you do. Consider what topics of discussion you may be able to suggest that could be useful for the company, for the work it does, for efficiency, etc. Ask them whether they think their experiences can translate into efficiencies for themselves and the company. That may get everyone excited.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a colleague who wears a very pungent perfume. It’s been increasingly difficult to focus with this smell filling the office, and I don’t know how to address it without making things uncomfortable. She might not be aware of how strong it is, but it’s starting to be a real distraction for everyone in the office. It would be really awkward to ask her to tone it down or change her perfume, but I’m afraid this situation isn't going away unless I do something about it. Do I take the risk of speaking up and potentially damaging our working relationship, or should I ignore the issue altogether? -- Too Much Perfume

DEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME: Since you have a relationship with this woman, you may want to pull her aside and tell her your truth: Her perfume is so strong that it is a distraction in the office. She may not realize how strong the scent is. If it gives you a headache or some other physical reaction, tell her, and ask her to spray less or consider wearing something different. If she takes offense or doesn’t change, tell your HR specialist or your boss and ask that person to address it with her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I wanted to comment about the woman who wrote to you concerning the male members of her fitness center who were leering at or making offensive remarks to the ladies. I have four words for her: stand up for yourself. If a politician, supervisor, business owner or complete stranger gropes you or makes some other kind of offensive remark, do something about it right then and there. Yell, scream, make a scene or, better yet, slap the offender. You should not be embarrassed or fear reprisal simply because you are an attractive female. That is what these juveniles are hoping for. When this happened to my wife at the bowling alley, she told the offender in a very loud voice, “keep your hands to yourself.”

Why do you want to get someone else involved? And why did you suggest she do so? Why wait months or even years to relay the incident to the news media or the courts in hope of getting someone to believe you and discredit the offending jerk? If women are unwilling to stop this kind of behavior, it will continue. I am betting that these same ladies would not allow their husbands or boyfriends to perpetrate these types of actions in public, yet they keep letting others get away with such things without doing anything about it. Be strong, be confident and stand up for yourself. -- Stand Up

DEAR STAND UP: You make a strong point, and I thank you for sharing it. I want to add, though, that for many women, the jeering or groping can be startling and intimidating. For those who do not feel comfortable or safe enough to speak up in the moment, there are other options, including speaking to a manager, calling the police or otherwise filing a complaint.

I agree that it is best to address things when they happen. But it is not necessarily a sign of weakness when a woman does not stand up to an aggressor. Safety is key in these situations. For all who find themselves compromised in such ways, consider all of your options. If you can address it immediately, do so. If not, don’t give up. Find another way. Your safety is of the utmost importance.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was overwhelmed when I received an expensive Christmas gift from my friend. I never expected such a pricey present, and it left me feeling very grateful. I felt that I had to do something in return to show my appreciation, but what could match the gesture they made? Buying an equally extravagant gift didn’t seem right, as I would never be able to repay the thoughtfulness behind this one. Perhaps there is a different way I can show my gratitude that doesn’t involve money? Is there something I can do to show them just how much their kind gift meant to me? -- Grateful

DEAR GRATEFUL: Are you so struck by this gift because of how much it cost, or by how thoughtful it was? I ask that because intention matters a lot. Do you think your friend was trying to impress you by purchasing such an extravagant item for you, or do you think sentiment was the driver? You are right that you should not try to compete with the price tag, but you should have a sense of what motivated your friend to reach so far beyond your comfort zone with that gift.

In terms of what you can do to show your friendship, get creative. Think about your friend and what they like, as well as what you can do. What experience can you curate that will be memorable and meaningful? The gift of time is the most precious. Can you plan a day trip where you visit sites that will inspire both of you, where you eat unusual food that you may both enjoy, or where you experience a cultural event that will forever be memorable? Think outside the box beyond dollars and toward shared experience. Let that be your lens.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a therapist, and this is about him. I like him very much. Too much! I haven't been interested in a man for some time. I don’t pursue relationships. I tend to go with the flow. Anyway, I would like things to develop into a friendship and maybe even more -- much more. There’s the conflict of him being my therapist as well as a priest. He was married once; so was I. Should I lay it out -- full disclosure -- with him, or should I just go with the flow like I usually do? He may know how I feel. I don’t know. -- Next Move

DEAR NEXT MOVE: Relationships with therapists can be tricky. On one hand, this is someone you really do need to let your guard down with. For you to grow in your own life, you need to trust this person and share your deepest feelings and experiences. That very naturally can lead to a sense of closeness to your therapist.

Know that he is trained to keep up guardrails so that you can be fully immersive without crossing lines of intimacy. What you are talking about would violate that professional boundary. You need to decide whether you are willing to give up your current professional relationship with him in order to potentially have something more and different. You will need to find someone else to support you as a therapist. He may not want to pursue a romantic relationship with you. Is the risk worth that possibility?

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)