DEAR HARRIETTE: In my dreams the other night, I remembered a troubling conversation I had with someone who used to be a dear friend years ago. This conversation marked the end of that friendship for a lot of reasons. She was so cold and mean when we spoke. I felt like God was judging me through her words. While some of the things she said were true, it was extremely hard to hear.
When the conversation came to me in my dreams, some of her points took on new meaning. While I hated that talk, she pointed out a few things that I should work on. I intend to do so. Do you think I should reach out to her and say something? In the end, her caustic lecture did plant seeds that are sprouting now. I absolutely hated how she talked to me and how judgmental she was. It was awful. But some good is coming of it. Should I tell her? -- Beyond Meanness
DEAR BEYOND MEANNESS: Rather than reopening Pandora's box, extract the lessons that benefit you and move forward. It sounds like your last interaction was a stopping point. There is no need to revisit that or give her credit for anything. Live your life, forgive her in your heart and let go of any animosity you may have felt toward her.