DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister is newly engaged to a man that she has been in a relationship with for several years now. They seem very happy for the most part. For my sister’s birthday, we all went out to dinner and had an activity-packed day with a bunch of their other friends. I couldn’t help but notice that one of her fiance’s female friends was being maybe a little too friendly with him. It was subtle, but I’m observant and picked up on it right away. My sister didn’t seem to notice. I’m protective of my sister, and I’m quick to call out anyone or anything that I think could potentially hurt her. I think she should keep an eye on that woman. Should I say something? -- Too Friendly
DEAR TOO FRIENDLY: You should tell your sister objectively what you observed. Rather than worrying about this woman, I recommend that your sister bring it up to her fiance directly. Ask him what their history is: Did they ever date? Does he know that she seems to be attracted to him? Can he put her behavior in check?
It is not unusual for someone in a friend group to have a long-term crush on a member of the group. Her interest does not mean that his feelings are reciprocal. As long as the two in the relationship are on the same page about friends and boundaries, they should be fine. Yes, some friends may have to be let go when you get married, but some can simply be put in their place.