DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been feeling overwhelmed by work, family, bills -- everything. Recently, I have developed a skin rash that I feel certain is due to my nerves. Whenever I start thinking about all of the responsibilities I have and what I am juggling as the eldest in a family of people who do not have their stuff together, I begin to itch. It’s awful. I have scratched the skin on my arm and ankle raw. When I was a kid, I had eczema, but that was so long ago. I’m worried that it has come back. I don’t have time to go to a dermatologist, though. It’s hard enough to get an appointment for the regular doctor. Just thinking about what to do is giving me anxiety. Do you have any ideas? -- Itchy

DEAR ITCHY: You need to see a doctor. Your primary care physician may be able to help you, or you might even try a walk-in facility. Do your best to see a medical professional at once. Explain your situation thoroughly, and show the evidence. It could be as simple as getting a prescription for a soothing ointment, or you may find you need other support.

On your own, build self-care activities into your schedule. Can you take a daily walk, even if it’s short? Add more water to your routine. Pick a hobby that can occupy some of your attention. Carve out some alone time when you feel less pressure to perform. Slowly deal with each of your duties so that you can get a handle on things.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a neighbor with two young children. She is sweet, and so are they. I am single with no kids. Occasionally, my neighbor invites me over to visit with her and her family. That’s fine for a few minutes, but I mostly like to be by myself.

Recently, she knocked on my door and asked if I would watch her kids for a few minutes while she went to the grocery store to pick up some food. How could I say no? She was gone for nearly an hour, which was hard for me. I have hardly ever spent time around kids. She was grateful. I thought that was that. But she has since asked me a few more times to watch her kids. I do not want to make this a habit. I like my peace when I get home from work. I can be neighborly up to a point, but I am not interested in being a babysitter. How can I tell her without hurting her feelings? -- Boundaries

DEAR BOUNDARIES: You have to speak to her directly. Let her know that you like her and her family, but you are not a babysitter and do not feel comfortable with that responsibility. Acknowledge that you know she needs help from time to time. Figure out how you can help differently.

For example, when you go to the grocery store, ask her what she needs. Perhaps you can pick up a few items for her so that she doesn’t need to run out and leave her kids with you.

Also, while it seems like a terrible imposition right now, try to look at this moment in time with fresh eyes. Your intermittent support of this young family means the world to her and may not be too inconvenient for you on occasion. Think about it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have had a contentious relationship with one of my clients, and now it is ending. He is moving to another job. I am happy for him -- and for me. No matter how hard I tried, we never got along when it came to getting the work done. Our team is hosting a goodbye party for this guy, and I am expected to be there. I feel like a bit of a hypocrite showing up given that I don’t care for the guy. Should I pass on the festivities? -- Not Feeling It

DEAR NOT FEELING IT: I always say that endings are more important than beginnings. Sure, you and this guy haven’t had the smoothest of relationships. He still deserves to be acknowledged for the time you spent together. You should attend with a genuine smile on your face. Be happy for him that he has found an opportunity that makes him happy, and be strategic for yourself. The rest of the team needs to see that you are a team player and that you have a positive attitude. You will need to be welcoming to whoever comes next, and you should resist the temptation to badmouth the departing client. Stay neutral and upbeat.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents are divorced. My mother’s birthday this year was on the same day as Father’s Day. We run into this issue most years because when they do not fall on the exact same day, they fall very close to each other. The days are so close together that I usually can’t spend time (or money) on both of them. I know that while they never make a big fuss about it to me, one of their feelings will ultimately be hurt by me choosing one over the other. A joint celebration is not an option.

This year was no different. I talked to my dad over the phone to wish him a happy Father’s Day, but I went to dinner with my mom. I could tell that he was sad. What would you recommend that I do to make them both feel as loved and special as possible on their special days? -- Two Special Days

TWO SPECIAL DAYS: First, accept the fact that you can’t make this about the money. It has to be about the sentiment and time. You need to figure out something that will feel special for each of them, even if you cannot personally be with each of them. Plan in advance. Decide that you will do something for one of them the week before the holiday, and set the schedule early. It may be that you cook a special meal, or you go on a fun outing to visit a museum, explore some other point of interest or see a long-lost friend. Make a big deal of what you are doing so your parent knows your intention is to make it special.

Be sure to call, FaceTime or otherwise honor the other parent on the actual day as well.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend spends pretty much every holiday with my family because she really doesn’t have a family of her own. She's estranged from her parents and siblings and lives across the country from all of them. I love having her with me for the holidays; she’s the sister I never had.

Over the years, my friend has brought over different men and has made quite the ordeal about inviting them each time. She has brought four different men to my family home over the past three years and introduced all of them as her boyfriend. As we are approaching my family’s Fourth of July celebration, do you think it would be rude if I asked her not to bring another man over this year? It feels wrong to keep subjecting my family to a different stranger every year when it ultimately never works out anyway. -- Too Many Dates

DEAR TOO MANY DATES: There are two ways to look at this. You could tell her that you and your family are a bit uncomfortable with her over-the-top displays with these different men at each celebration. It’s hard to keep track of who’s who with the way that she brings these men into your home. You can recommend that she not make such a fuss over a guy if she chooses to invite someone. Let him simply be introduced as a friend, and you all see over time what he becomes. Another option is to come solo.

Or you can just accept your friend for who she is. She’s the sister who falls hard for men, but the relationships don’t always last -- at least not yet. Check in with your parents to see how they feel about it. It is their home. If they would like a reprieve from her dates, tell her as much. If not, just be in the moment and don’t judge her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to visit my sister recently after two years of not seeing each other due to the pandemic. We have a weird relationship. She’s the oldest child, and she continues to try to control everything. She’s super neat, and I’m messy. During my visit, every time I stood up, she looked to see what I was going to do next. It is awkward being around her because I always feel like I’m going to mess up.

Sure enough, I used her guest bathroom a few times, and one time, late at night, I mistakenly used the towel rack to balance as I stood up and broke it off the wall. Now I have damaged my sister’s house. I am so embarrassed. How can I make it up to her? She doesn’t want money, but she is annoyed. -- On the Outs

DEAR ON THE OUTS: Apologize again for what was obviously an accident. Offer to pay for the repairs, even if it’s only a ceremonial gesture. Make sure your sister knows that you didn’t mean to do damage to her home. Hopefully, she sees the bigger picture: You made the effort to travel to spend time with her after so long apart.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)