DEAR HARRIETTE: Should I reach out to a former friend of mine who is grieving the loss of a parent? I’m not sure if she ever wants to hear from me again because of the way we left off. I don’t want to offend her. What would be the best way to send my condolences to someone who might not want to hear from me? -- No Longer Friends
DEAR NO LONGER FRIENDS: During times of grief, hearing from an old friend can be meaningful as long as that person doesn't asking for anything in return. Consider sending your friend a card that expresses your sincere sadness over the loss of her parent. Offer blessings and healing, and leave it at that. Do not ask to get together, to call or anything else. You can put your return address on the envelope in case she chooses to reach back, but you should make your gesture purely one of sympathy.