DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend is extremely jealous and territorial. Every time I invite her to hang out with my other friends, she gets weirdly competitive for my attention. I asked her why she acts that way, and she told me that she didn’t even notice that she was doing it. We had that conversation months ago, and she still hasn’t changed her ways. What should I do now? -- Jealous Best Friend
DEAR JEALOUS BEST FRIEND: I have a problem with the concept of “best friend.” I know some people will think that’s extreme, but my reason is that just by definition, it indicates that this one person takes precedence over all others. Because of this, competition can ensue at different points in the relationship if other friends occupy a lot of someone’s time or attention. This is especially true when people are young and still growing into their full selves and discovering their identities.
Your best friend may be feeling that your other friends are taking on more significance than she has. It could easily be subconscious, but that doesn't make it any less real. You can assure your best friend of how much you love her and appreciate her friendship. You can be more inclusive of her when the larger group of people assembles. Ultimately, you may not want to include her in all of those gatherings if it becomes too emotionally taxing for you to handle.