DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend of mine is having a baby, yet he still lives at home with his parents. He expects me and our other mutual friends to be happy for him, but from a practical standpoint, I don't understand how I should feel anything but worried. I have many questions, but I am uncomfortable asking them because I don’t want him to know how concerned I really am. Is it wrong for me to tell him I’m worried? -- Very Worried
DEAR VERY WORRIED: Having a baby is a huge responsibility. You are right to be concerned about your friend’s readiness to care for a child when he currently is not independent of his own parents. Yes, you should talk to him. Chances are that the pregnancy wasn’t planned. That he and his partner have decided to keep the baby is a blessing, but that’s only the start. They must plan and figure out a path forward for their family. I can only imagine that his parents are worried sick about what’s next, even as they want to support him.
Go talk to him. Ask him what his plans are for his budding family. Does he plan to live with the baby’s mother? Have they talked about how he can help with the baby -- financially, psychologically, physically? Does he plan on being present as the baby grows up? Where would that take place? Get him to talk about his thoughts and feelings and strategy for caring for a child.