DEAR HARRIETTE: Although I am on the quiet and reserved side, my family is the complete opposite. I come from a loud and rambunctious family. While I love them all very much, I find myself feeling embarrassed around them in public. I feel guilty for this reaction, but everywhere we go, my family laughs, talks and yells so loudly. I just can't relate to acting like that. I’ve asked them to tone it down, but they honestly don’t even know what "tone it down" means. Will I grow out of this? How do I stop feeling so embarrassed? -- Quiet One
DEAR QUIET ONE: To find peace, you need to be able to accept your family for who they are. They are comfortable in their own skins. Now you have to find comfort for yourself.
Check yourself to see if you have legitimate reasons to worry about their public presentation. Have they been asked to leave establishments? Have they disturbed people at nearby tables? What has their loudness cost others around them? If you can recall something egregious, then you can point that out to them. But if it’s only about your discomfort with their way of being, you may need to start practicing acceptance of who they are.
When you go out with them, you can gently recommend places that welcome a bit of loudness so that they blend in more. But do yourself a favor: Let go of the judgment. Just love them for who they are.